After almost a silence of one Month i slowly managed to regain my motivation and energy to move on/making the next step(s)
i admit... in this one month i really overworked myself a lot and so my motivation went down aswell.
But i never had a single thought to stop my self-employment as a freelancer Manga Artists.
I got my motivation slowly back, through reading manga and Visual Novels, watching animes and playing few Games.
First i read Sakura Spirit: store.steampowered.com/app/313…
but then i read Planetarian: store.steampowered.com/app/316…
(I recommend Planetarian it has a totally awesome good written storry)
The financial problem is currently more or less solved, but this depends on Store manager of the Super Market.
My working shift time at the Super Market did not changed, i still have a 30 hour per week and that's good.
The store manager is
very statisfied with my work and i also found my fun at the work there too, so it is not frustrating to work there.
To be more honest and excat, it is actually fun there, the store isn't one of the huge store, so I don't feel that feeling of being alien there.
I especially like my post at cash counter, I like to give our customers the best service i can give. The customers really apprecciate my politeness
To my surprise, now after working now 6 months there, a lot of people in this little town called Erlensee, know me as the most polite Check-out Operative
Many people mistaken my age and origin. A lot guessed my age to 18 or below (actually i'm 26 now
) and due to my politeness, most of the customers though that i were japanese So the conclusion: The Super Market helped me out a lot and it's fun.
At the begining or rather few months ago, i thought i could live with just taking and making commission. But soon i realized that i can't do that, because it is not an long term solution, because i'm not really the type for it. Also the fact and the thought that i'm totally bond to commissons and not able to do my own stuff, took slowly all my motivation away, because i have many Projects of my own, which i really want to realize.
I do not know how other professionals think about this topic: But my personal opinion as an arstist, only drawing for the sake of money is the false way... because there is no fun/emotion behind it... when i compare some commissioned works wth Te-SLA or Mechas Heart, there is really a huge difference in it. Maybe my Commissioners do not see it like me, since quality is still the same. But I really noticed that i only do stuff for the sake of money, and the sudden change of my character... almost all what sprang out of my mouth was: Money, Calculation, and (running after) payments, Losts per month etc... and this made a lot of people arround me unhappy... especially myself. It really made me crazy.
I do not mean that money is a bad thing... i know that i need it for many stuff and having none is false too.
But i realized that i really had to accept all kind of commission, even those where i don't have fun at it to scratch living...
Working in the remaining given free time, after a working shift at the super market, at a (long) commission, where you don't have fun nor motivation at it, also with the knowing that more are coming... is really and motivation breaker...
So i came to the conclusion, that the money i need have to come from elsewhere... and this was the 30 hour per week at the Super Market, and i'm really grateful to the store manager.So the conclusion: Commission corner is going to be closed.
Now where I solved two problems for the time being, i can focus more on my own stuff once again.
I will finished all on going commission, but i won't take new ones for the time being until i really have spare time to realized them.